Swing Copters: What You Need to Know Before it Destroys Your Life

By | August 21, 2014

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Swing Copters is here, and life on Earth as we know it is about to vanish. Dong Nguyen, best known as the man behind the casual gaming monstrosity Flappy Bird, is back to torture us all a second time with Swing Copters for iOS and Android. Flappy Bird was all about guiding a bird through some gaps by tapping your screen rhythmically. Swing Copters is much the same, but with a few devious twists that turn what would’ve been a normal time sink into a pit from which you may never emerge again.

First of all, if you’re going to get Swing Copters, you need to accept that this is not a game for you to play. This is a task at which you must labor. There’s really nothing enjoyable about Swing Copters–your tiny character will die, probably in seconds, and you’ll feel terrible for a moment before resolving to do better next time. The fault isn’t yours, but you’ll feel like it is. Swing Copters is not a healthy relationship.

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Swing Copters changes up the Flappy Bird formula in a few ways that make it distinct from its flappy predecessor. For one thing, you’re trying to travel up now. For another, you’re going to change direction wildly every time you tap. Your character can’t control its helicopter-hat very well, and that’s going to make you smack into a bunch of stuff. Too bad, because every time that happens, you’ll have to start Swing Copters all over. You knew what you were getting into when you began this journey. Don’t complain.

The final thing that separates the Flappy Bird children from the Swing Copters adults is the hammers. Those evil, malevolent hammers. There are two of them that guard every gap in the girders you’re trying to pass. They swing back and forth, so there’s only a small safe area between them to pass through. Once you’ve gotten your character in the exact middle of the gap, tap quickly and rhythmically to keep them there. You might just be able to fly through the beams and score a single point.

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If you can get a bunch of points in a row–good luck with that–you’ll get yourself a medal. Four medals will unlock more Swing Copters characters that you can send to their inevitable doom. If you keep doing this, you’re a cruel person. But not more cruel than Dong Nguyen. We’ll see you in hell, sir.

For more on Swing Copters tips and strategy, check out Swing Copters Cheats.